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About Author: Johnny Dangerous

Posts by Johnny Dangerous

  • This episode is so bad that Jesus himself tried to prevent me from reviewing it by deleting this entire disc from my computer. I had to defy our lord and savior by re-ripping it to my hard drive. If we start getting plagues of locusts and shit then its my fault. Sorry dudes. As you may remember last time the Downers got in the luggage compartment of a bus which they planned to ride to the beach. Today’s episode opens with them inside the luggage compartment of the bus. That makes sense. If it began with them all at home...0May 5, 2012

    Watership Down: The Great Water

  • Hamtaro is like the best show to ever come from Japan. No doubt about it. I’ even including the show about teenage school girls who fight the tentacle penis monsters by using moonstones to transform into preteen girls with animal tails. That shit don’t even come close!   The premise of today’s episode is newspapers, and the humans or other creatures who contribute to this dying art form Fun Hamtaro Fact: Originally airing in Japan in the year 2000 this episode was considered a quaint throw back to a time where computers were not injected anally into Japanese babies at...0April 8, 2012

    Hamtaro: Maxwell’s Big Scoop

  • What time is it? Its bunny time bitches.   Bigwig, Hazel, Fiver, and the rest are going through a field with high grass. It could be dangerous, they might have to fight two Pokemon at the same time but they are confident Keehar will be their eye in the sky giving up to the minute reports on foxes, weasels, tigers, and other natural predators of rabbits. Keehar being the dedicated friend he is sees some birds he knew from big water and follows them to chat up how awesome the big water is. Its big, its water, what else is...0March 12, 2012

    Watership Down: The Market

  • Season 2 episode 15 Airdate January 28 2012 Important characters: Applejack, the rest of the Apple family Lesson of the Week: Technological progress is bad.   Its early in Ponyville. So early the sun has not yet been risen. Fluttershy is woken by a knock on her door. “Who could be calling so early?” she wonders. Before she can even get out of bed the window flies open. Like a bolt in comes Rainbow Dash, thirsting, thirsting for one thing and nothing will stop her. She pulls of Fluttershy’s quilt. “Squeek!” Fluttershy cries as she covers her nude body. Rainbow...0February 24, 2012

    My Little Pony: 2.15 “The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000″

  •   This episode is The Roundabout. The words will make you out and out.   Hawkbit and Dandelion are at the farm pulling up turnips Mario Bros 2 style yo. In the last episode they stole food from here there was a fence but now the field is fenceless. We know it isn’t a different farm because that one dog is there. Usually he is tied up but now he isn’t. Other slight differences in how locations are depicted in this episode compared to previous episodes will be noted as needed. The dog notices Hawkbit and Dandelion stealing from his...0February 14, 2012

    Watership Down: The Roundabout

  • Pay-per-view wrestling events have always been a big deal. Its the place where feuds are settled, stakes are raised, and the promotion makes its real money. With a lot going into the production and build up it is necessary to get as many viewers as possible. A well made poster can make all the difference in convincing somebody to make the purchase. This right here is an example of the best poster ever. Look at that intensity. You got a bunch of the toughest mofoes this side of anywhere just walking down the middle of the street challenging anybody to...1February 2, 2012

    Wrestling Pay-Per-View Posters: An Introspective

  • Hey cooking fans, what do you get when you take three precocious girls, a hug loving dad, a wacky comedian, a cool rock star, his wife, a couple more kids, a wacky neighbor and a dog? You get the greatest most daring family sitcom in the history of the universe. While the house in Full House sure was full of people, love, and comedy, it was also full of much more. Through the seasons alot of things ended up in that house. Things that do not belong in a house. Here are the top ten. 10. Michelle’s Pool What happens...2January 9, 2012

    The Top Ten Things in the Tanner Household that Don’t Belong Inside a House

  • Previously on Watership Down: General Woundwort captured Pipkin, with sexy consequences Blackberry bought a new hat. And Vervain announced that unless Bigwig, Fiver and Hazel surrendered themselves before the next full moon Pipkin would be executed, with sexy consequences. Now for tonight’s episode Prisoner of Efrafa. In the great Watership Down tradition of having meetings the Downers are having a meeting to discuss what to do about Pipkin and all the extras are their, Blacklavar, Strawberry, even General Holly. None of them talk. Everybody but Hannah agrees that Fiver, Bigwig and Hazel are more important then Pipkin and should not...1December 17, 2011

    Watership Down: Prisoner of Efrafa

  • Warning do not use these lines on underage girls because they will have sex with you and you will go to jail. These comics have all been painstakingly recreated from real life situations right down to the last detail. Unfortunately this is a family website so the sexy sexy aftermath will have to be left to your imagination.      1December 1, 2011

    Friendship is Magic Pick Up Lines: Guranteed to Get You a Pegasister

  • A great man once said “The true measure of any TV show, movie, or board game is the quality of the video game based on it” and while that man may have never lived to see My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,or possibly even existed the fact remains, there have not been any commercially released Friendship is Magic games yet. There is however a browser based game on The Hub’s website. The first thing you do is make a pony. My pony is named Prairie Wind. She hails from the vast wheat fields of Midwest Equestria. After her parents where...11November 18, 2011

    My Little Pony: Adventures in Ponyville

  • My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the latest television cartoon based on the My Little Pony franchise owned by Hasbro. The story goes that Lauren Faust, known for her work on well received products such as Power Puff Girls, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, and Quest for Camelot was approached by Hasbro to develop a new My Little Pony series. Faust accepted the offer with the idea that she could create a show that went beyond the simplistic standards set for the franchise in the past. She wanted to create a product that would be accepted by both girls...6November 15, 2011

    My Little DV Survivor

  • Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2011 From: Denon W Subject: gremlins Heyy. I still can’t believe you stopped reviewing degrassi. Can’t you just review this season and then quit? It’s actually a lot different than the last 5 seasons, because it actually has quality writing and interesting storylines. I think you will really like it. Now, I know you’ve heard this from loads of people, but you should think about reviewing Skins. I fucking love that show and I know you would too if you gave it a chance. It really isn’t like degrassi. Degrassi sucks a bucket of dicks, but...3November 15, 2011

    Mailbag November 2011

  • Vervain has a patrol out in the rain. There’s this one rabbit in the background who doesn‘t say anything but you can tell that he is thinking “Man this sucks. Figures, I do Steve a favor and pick up his shift so he can watch his kid’s lacrosse game and it ends up raining. The only way this could get worse is if a seagull attacked us,” which then happens. Although, at this point you have to figure that they get attacked by Keehar so often that it only gets a passing mention when they write up the report on...0September 21, 2011

    Watership Down: “Kidnapped”

  • Wow, it’s been a while since I did one of these hasn’t it? Actually I apparently wrote this review like a year ago and even took screenshots but never actually finished it. If I remember correctly I lost this volume of the DVD Box Set for awhile and just moved on with the episodes. Then by the time I found it again the program I had on my computer that allowed me to play DVDs from other regions wasn’t working. I’ve since then gotten another program that let me rip the DVDs so I can start the reviews again. Until...0September 12, 2011

    Watership Down: “Tale of a Mouse”

  • I haven’t mentioned it but these DVDs have ten minutes of inescapable previews. I meant to type unskippable but the computer changed it. Inescapable is more appropriate anyways. I only paid 60 bucks for this box set, why should I expect them to simply take my money and be happy. No, they better try their hardest to convince me to buy Postman Pat or whatever other crappy British claymation show they have the rights to. British claymation shows always have the most unappealing concepts. One is about a tractor. That’s it. Not a magic tractor who solves mysteries, just a...0June 11, 2010

    Watership Down: “Lost”

  • The episode starts with the rabbits enjoying the easy life, the concept not the earlier Watership Down episode. They’re munching on grass, laying around, and listening to Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta on a boom box while drinking 40s of Steel Reserve. Looks like Hazel and Bigwig can’t handle their booze and are passed out. Hawkbit is probably going to draw penises on them while Dandelion puts his balls in their mouths. Ever notice that pranks done on passed out people are really gay? The only exception I can think of is when a girl passes out...0March 3, 2010

    Watership Down: “Friend and Enemy”

  • So there’s a weasel harassing some geese and the geese get to be too intense for the weasel and he’s all “Fuck this shit I gots me places to be!” and that’s the end of that scene snootches. At the down Primrose is stoic. Look how stoic she is. Primrose wonders what happened to her home warren of Redstone. I guess she was born there, not Efrafa. It could be her desire to leave Efrafa was because she was forced to move there and it seemed unnatural due to her background. We could ask Blackavar if he wanted to leave...0October 9, 2009

    Watership Down: “The Vision”

  • The once-great city of Efrafa becomes the one maximum-security prison for the entire country. A railroad is erected along the Hampshire shoreline, across the Enborne river, and down along the Nuthanger shoreline. It completely surrounds Efrafa All bridges and waterways are mined. Scotland Yard, like an army, is encamped around the island. The rules are simple. Once you go in, you don’t come out. So there’s this fox and he’s stalking around the forest. The thing is the fox keeps growling like a lion. He also tends to growl without opening his mouth. Seeing how foxes don’t sound like that...0August 10, 2009

    Watership Down: “Escape from Efrafa”

  • This is the Watership Down critic. I watch Watership Down so you don’t have to. I’ve given up a lot of things to review episodes of Watership Down, time, money, dignity but do I regret it? Yes I do. We start the episode with rabbits using Hawkbit as a stepping stone to jump over a log under the pretense of military exercise. The log isn’t very tall or long. I think they could go over it or around it without many problems. They just want to cause Hawkbit pain. I’m not exaggerating either when I say the camera angle makes...0May 11, 2009

    Watership Down: “Challenge to Efrafa”

  • Boycott the Caf name: That one that’s actually something that happened in the book Last week on Watership Down: Hazel directly challenged Woundwort to a battle to the finish and promised to come save Primrose and others being held in Efrafa. This week on Watership Down: An episode where none of that happens. The episode starts in the early morning, we know its early in the morning because a rooster caws, also Hazel upon exiting the warren, enthusiastically scratches himself, something I do every morning. It’s so early that Hannah is the only other person awake, so Hazel sort of...0March 10, 2009

    Watership Down: “The Raid”

  • It’s time for episode five. This is a very special episode. This is the episode I lost my virginity to. I was 24 and in a Greek jail for stealing fire from the gods. My cellmate and I watched this very episode on his hand held television while making passionate love. My cellmate’s name was John Stamos. He was in jail for the crime…of passion. Shit is going down son! This episode ain’t going to start out with any sort of rabbit non-action stuff like meetings or eating grass quietly. It starts with some rabbit on the fast track; running...0January 13, 2009

    Watership Down: “The Shadow of Efrafa”

  • Explanation of the title Fayre is the rabbit word for food that isn’t grass. If a rabbit finds an apple it is farye, lettuce: farye, steak with all the trimmings: farye. That being said the title still makes no damn sense. Strawberry is heavily featured sure but there is no farye to be found. I’m pretty sure the people who made the episode didn’t know what the word meant but decided to throw it into the title to please the rabid Watership Down book fans. These are the same fans who whine because Blackberry is a girl and because it...0December 5, 2008

    Watership Down: “Strawberry Fayre”

  • Remember a couple years ago I made an article about a Watership Downcartoon DVD I bought? The story behind that article is that I was hopped up on vicodin because I just had my wisdom teeth pulled. I wrote the article while in a drugged craze and then it sat on my computer for several months because the large number of images made it too difficult to email. I believe the drugs were the reason that I chose to not write a traditional review and instead went with a crazy mess that made little sense if you didn’t watch the...0July 28, 2008

    Watership Down: “The Easy Life”

  • The other day I took a trip to a local used record store with the intentions of spending money I can’t afford to not spend on Rush records. While there, I decided to browse the cheap DVD section. In between TV’s Greatest Sports Bloopers and 15 and Pregnant, I found something actually worth viewing. Please note the case of the DVD I bought was significantly less blurry. “Wowza a DVD of the hit Canadian show based off of the hit English book about rabbits!” I loudly explained, which caused several people to look at me warily, and one man to...0September 5, 2005

    Journey to Watership Down

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